How to Drive Chicago: Gapers Duh-lay

12. Gapers’ Duh Lay

Gaper. You are the scum of the earth

dregs of society

the lowest form of being


if you could just accelerate. keep pace. and look to the right

do 2 things at once

but you can’t

card carrying moron

distracted by a shiny coin

woof. woof. tongue wag

45 minutes of crawl.

totally worth it because you peeped a crooked fender

oh sweet crooked fender

perhaps a neck collar

so worth it


look look an ambulance

shiny ambulance

gaper.. i hardly know… smack you in the face you piece of trash – er

don’t you do it

don’t you dare do it!



We should all be accelerating past this accident

I will slap the gape out of your face

your lucky I’m a pacifist

Stay tuned for next week’s topic … road rage. 


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